I suppose to all those who've begun reading this blog again, returning to North Carolina deserves a post.

My two year commitment to New Roads, Louisiana is over.

Even typing those words feels strange. How could it be that I will never again puzzle over how to help BL make friends? or CJ to count backwards? or TD to control his anger? or TB to be brave going home everyday? From this point on, I have no further control over their education. I cannot change whether their next teachers think they're smart or not. I cannot control whether they feel safe at school. Even as my focus needs to steadily turn increasingly to preparing for my work along the Thai-Burmese border, my mind falls ever out of habit on the names and faces of my community in New Roads. I have so many hopes and dreams for them, and I pray that their lives will be full of teachers who also carry their hopes and dreams.

Returning to North Carolina is also something. I haven't spent an entire summer here in five years, and I haven't spent longer than a summer here in eight years. This prolonged returned (such as 2 1/2 months feels to me) carries the added weight of all the bittersweet memories from past summers, when old friendships still provided laughter, conversation, and activity. That is not to say in any sort of melodramatic way that there is none of the above now. Certainly I find laughter, conversation, and activity through my parents, brother, and family friends, but things have changed, and time spent here is now a lot quieter and emptier than ever in times past. I suppose that's the thing about growing up and leaving. Some things you can never return to.

ON A SIDE NOTE: I will be sending out the first trial "update" e-mail for my list for while I'm out of the country to make sure all the e-mail addresses I've collected are correct. If you have not given me your e-mail address and would like to be added to my list, please send me your e-mail address asap. Thanks!