Only two more days of students and one more teacher day... Strange. It's all wrapping up, and it turns out that I survived my first year of teaching. Actually, I think I should stop using that word even if there is a degree of reality to it, because though surviving is all I did at times, most of the year I did a lot more than survive. I connected with sixteen students, whose futures will forever matter to me, no matter what. Somewhere across the year, these kids grew, and they grew a lot. I could give you numbers and data about how much they grew (TFA thankfully requires careful tracking), but, instead, I'll just tell you that these kids are true superstars and deserve all of our respect for their willingness to shoot for unlikely goals because a strange woman tells them to and then to achieve them. I'm so proud of them. About half of them will no longer be my students next year, and I have no words for how I will miss them. These same students took me, a recent college graduate with clear dreams for her own future, and hijacked all of those plans. I don't know what the future holds, because I realize more and more that my dreams for myself are now intertwined with my dreams for my students. It's a strange thing teaching does, and I now understand why 2/3 of all TFAers continue working in or on education issues. I cannot ever let down my students, whom I love... we shall see where that leads...

On another note, this summer I will be traveling overseas, and for the first time in my life, going overseas does not mean going somewhere new. Instead, I will be returning to two familiar places: first to my German friends and family in Bremen, and second to visit my sister in Jerusalem. Keep checking here for all my updates! Thank you for all your e-mails, comments, and phone calls of concern and support this year. :)

Right now I cannot express how happy I am to be sitting in the Hilton in Baton Rouge (thank you, Hilton, for sponsoring TFA corps members in SLA). The humidity feels wonderful! Even sweeter is the fact that when I stepped out of airport I did not feel an oven opening onto my face or a blow dryer sucking all the moisture off my skin.

Instead, I am sitting silently and alone in my hotel room in Baton Rouge. I cannot imagine doing anything more wonderful. I cannot help savor these moments of quiet before the rush, and the rush is definitely coming. Tomorrow I sign the lease for Meg and my lake cottage. On Monday we complete all the necessary paperwork and fingerprinting. On Tuesday I begin Pointe Coupee training. On Wednesday I return to TFA training in Baton Rouge, which also goes into Thursday. Thursday night we have our welcome dinner back in Pointe Coupee. The rush continues right up until August 3, when I officially begin my adventure as a 4th-6th grade special education teacher.

I have so much to learn still, but everyday I learn more. Moreover, everyday I begin to grasp how much this job is and will transform my life. I can only hope I'm ready.

I am sooooooo proud of my Kindergarteners... correction: my first graders! Today they graduated from the Kindergarten summer school, and next week they enter the first grade!

Our reading goal was to move up 6 points on the DRA, and on average we met 197% of our goal. Every student at the very least met their goal; one even tripled it.

Our math goal was to increase 70%, and we met 88% of that goal. Nonetheless, our students soared! They know far more than they ever did before, and they learned what hard work can bring!

My greatest fear is that I will never learn anything else about the class that first taught me how to be a teacher. They were my teachers, too, after all, though I could not tell them that. I will never forget Andrew falling on the floor wailing, because he was in the group that was "less than" the other side... failed attempt at teaching greater and less than. Nor will I ever forget watching Andrew begin reading or my deep disappointment when he stopped showing up to summer school. Nor will I ever forget that moment when Marquis fluently read a Level H book and gave me the biggest grin and a high five! Nor will I forget when Aziyah counted blocks one at a time! Nor will I forget when Christian apologized for using mean words! Nor will I ever forget when my students taught my mentor teacher how to stand "hip and lip"! Nor will I ever forget when Zaquariae began to participate in class, sometimes bursting with the answers! Nor will I ever forget when shy little Ju'Maree transformed into the class clown! I will never forget these beautiful faces. They will be with me forever.

Teaching continues to transform my life. I wonder what two years will do to me.

Rough days and good days. I unfortunately do not have time to type all, but let me just give a glimpse of the last few days:

BEST MOMENT: A spontaneous hug from the dearest little boy ever on a rough day for him (he wasn't acting out... just carrying family pain into the classroom).

WORST MOMENT: Watching a little girl cry over trying to unbutton pants that were far too small.

GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT (not necessarily my own achievement, but I am as proud of a student's achievement as my own): A girl, who had no concept of one-to-one counting at the beginning, demonstrated mastery of the GREATER THAN concept!

PLACES FOR GROWTH: Learning to challenge my three most advanced students while not losing my three least advanced.

MOST FUN: Reading to my kids with all silly voices I could think of!

Today was... well, it was Day 2 of Kindergarten, and I suspect a fairly typical one in the summer experience. I cannot call it bad, because truthfully the kids were well-behaved and not one cried (like they did yesterday) to take a nap. Yet, it was *hard.* I had a carefully planned lesson for today's objective (to identify a number one less than a given number) only to discover a significant portion of my class had no number sense and could only barely manage counting forward (if that), let alone backwards. One dearheart told me that 22 came after 5, and I could not for the life of me figure out where in the classroom she was looking to come up with that number.

That being said, it was a day of falling in love with students who, already, are years behind their privileged peers. I have only four weeks to work with these dearhearts, and Kindergarten is far from my ideal age range, but if I can make a difference in their future achievement, I will be happy. I asked a child why we were doing what we were doing, and one of them (as I hoped) said so that we could count like a first grader. Another child piped in so that we could then eventually count like a third grader. I followed these two statements with so that we could then count like fifth grader, and then a seventh grader, and then a high schooler... and eventually like a COLLEGE student!

Their response was a bunch of giggles and a few exclaimed "College?!" back to me. Yet all of them beamed with pride over the possibility that what we were doing now might prepare them for this very distant dream. I hope their future teachers tell them the same thing. They have a right to teachers who will not give up on them after seeing diagnostic test results.

First week of training in Phoenix will be done tomorrow, and I am utterly exhausted. I thought I would have written multiple times by now, but when even a good night's rest continues to elude me, this blog slips to the background. I will simply say that it appears I will be teaching elementary special education in Pointe Coupee, Louisiana, but I am still not yet hired. For the summer training, I am teaching Kindergarten. Anyway, I have ten minutes before dinner, so I need to go.

Yesterday consisted of 13 hours of driving through six states (North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, Alabama Mississippi, and Louisiana), lots of oil drills, swamps, and a space center. Today consisted of attempting to meet 160 individuals, unloading my furniture into a storage unit, and listening to the Louisiana Secretary of State talking about Louisiana history and culture (quite exciting!)... oh, and naturally getting lost. Also notably, my friend from paging (Rachael) and I were actually randomly assigned to be roommates for induction! That was a fabulous surprise! :) Overall, it's been a good day, but I am exhausted beyond words and ready to sleep. There are several social activities going on (most people are going to the bar), but I think I will save my social energies for the morning. Today I have simply reached my limit.