Actually, when I get this far along in telling about this exciting news, my hands tend to go to my face to cover my smile and a slight giggle comes from my belly. I am in love. These are normal reactions to being in love. But... I've become a bit reticent about telling new acquaintances about this fun, new chapter in my life (it may have contributed to even how long I took to tell some friends I have not seen in a while and certainly to post in public spheres). Even as I write now, I am gulping and plunging forward with a sense of determination, rather than excitement.
Why is that? Friends who have known us well have spoken nothing but encouragement. If they have occasionally asked questions about how we will face some cultural leaps that are necessary, it was in the context of love and understanding of who we are. Yet, some others--people who do not even know either of us--seem to have felt it necessary to inform us that we come from different cultures, and that will be difficult. Point blank. Nothing more. And then there's that disapproving look. Towards me, it's the look of being foolish and stupid, of not knowing what I'm about. Perhaps they see me as trying to rescue, as if my fiancé needed rescuing by anybody, just because he was born to a different culture. Towards him, the look is often slightly more menacing, as if he were trying to take advantage of me or get to my money (which I do not have) or my citizenship (we plan to live in Thailand). Some have even worried about how our children will look, when blending two different races.
Gulp.
In case anyone was feeling self-righteous, these statements have all been from Westerners.
I go to a Thai church that has a few regular Westerners and the occasional visitors. This last Sunday there was a group from Oklahoma Baptist University, and I ended up in a small group with them (we do small groups every week). They were visiting a family that knows me and goes regularly to The Light (my church), and the man asked me to share a bit about the person I am marrying.
I paused.
I should have been excited.
If they were Thai or Shan, I would have been excited.
But I am coming to dread telling white strangers (is this racism on my part?). Yes, this group seemed nice enough. But they had the option of telling me I was crazy to marry a man from another culture, and it seems people so often feel free to do that with a stranger.
Then I opened my mouth and talked. And then they told me they were excited for me, and they shared encouraging scriptures.
I breathed a sigh. I don't know what they said when they went back to their rooms that night, but I was encouraged that not everyone lets their fear of the other dominate them.
It's probably because of them that I have the courage to tell you now. I invite you to come alongside me as I begin this new journey we call marriage.
